Adios, Paci

Let me start by saying that I am aware that almost three years old is too old to still have a pacifier. I know it, and if you'd told me that I would allow a child of mine to still have a paci at almost three years old, I would have called you a dirty, rotten liar. But that was before I had twins. I confess, we did not break Will of the paci habit by two as I swore I would. So what, sue me. Part of it was laziness- it was so much easier to put him to bed when he had a paci, it soothed him when he was sick, and quite frankly, there were days when shoving that paci in his whining mouth was the only thing that kept him alive at 5:00.

Plus, I had a bit of an emotional attachment to Will's pacifier. I know that sounds odd, but back in the dark days of his early infancy, there wasn't a lot that could bring comfort to Will, but that baby loved his pacifier. It was the one thing that never failed to soothe him. And then we discovered Wubanubs, the pacifier with a Beanie Baby-like stuffed animal attached to the end of it. We bought a red dog we named Clifford for Will, and it became his constant companion. I couldn't be at the hospital with Will all the time, but Clifford could. And while I'm not suggesting that a stuffed animal pacifier is a suitable stand-in for a mother, it did give me some measure of comfort to know that he had his Clifford. He always had something that made him feel safe, secure and soothed. I loved Clifford about as much as Will did, and when the paci part fell off, I kept Clifford for sentimental reasons. (Though once he didn't have the paci part, Will had little interest in it.)

And while my other kids had lovies, Will only had his pacifier. Mason was a paci baby, but he also had his beloved stuffed dog, Buddy. So when it was time to take his paci, I didn't feel too bad because he still had Buddy to sleep with. And Hays was never really into his pacifier, but I can't imagine putting him to bed without Stinky Monkey. But Will never really developed a strong attachment to a particular animal or blanket, so all he had at bedtime was his paci. It seemed sort of cruel to take it away. But cruel or not, damned if I was going to be one of those moms that lets her five year old walk around with a paci. (And if you are one of those moms, I'm sorry. I hate to judge you, but honey, it's time to lose the binky)

So Matt and I made a plan. We were down to one pacifier, and we were already limiting it to naps and bedtime (or major illness). We agreed that when that paci got torn up or lost, we were done. We were not buying any more under any circumstances. About two weeks ago, we noticed that he'd bitten a small hole in it. It was in no danger of coming apart and choking him to death at that point, so we let him keep it. But we knew the end was near. The end arrived yesterday.

He got up from what was supposed to be naptime, but which was actually jump on the bed and play time, with a paci mangled beyond redemption. I told him, "Uh oh, Paci is broken. We have to throw it away." He gave it a kiss and hug, told it bye-bye and threw it away. He didn't seem at all distressed, but I wondered what bedtime would bring. I was able to conveniently push that off on Matt because I had to take Mason to a thing at his school. I expected to hear tales of woe, great wailing and gnashing of teeth. But actually, Will did okay. There was a little bit of crying, but not much, and he fell asleep fairly quickly. He did wake up early this morning and cry a little bit, but he went back to sleep. And while I figured naptime today would be a bust, he only asked for his pacifier once, and fell asleep within 15 minutes.

So we are officially a pacifier-free zone. I'm proud of him. A little wistful to see one more vestige of baby-hood cast off, but proud nonetheless. And very, very grateful that it has gone much more smoothly than I anticipated. My baby's growing up.....