Escape to Bitch Mountain

Finally, after months of waiting, I had my girl's weekend with my mom and sisters. You may remember that my sister, Elizabeth, rented us a cabin in the mountains as the Best. Christmas. Present. Ever. We were supposed to go a couple of months ago, but had to postpone due to widespread illness. But finally, the weekend that Matt had nicknamed "Escape to Bitch Mountain" had arrived!

We left Friday afternoon, which meant a fairly harrowing trip through rush hour traffic in Atlanta. We narrowly avoided a multi-car pile-up when mom practically came to a stop in the middle of the interstate when she thought she missed her exit, but we escaped with only a few dirty looks. Nightfall was closing in on us as we drove further and further into the hills of North Georgia, and we were racing the dark to get to our VERY isolated cabin in the woods.

I'm not gonna lie, four women alone in a cabin in the woods can be a little scary. I mean, that's how horror movies start. We were slightly jumpy and on high alert lest we be attacked by marauding hillbillies. At one point, mom had stepped out on the back porch only to race back in with a terrified look on her face. My stomach just about dropped out of my body when she said, "I think I hear someone walking around out there." Luckily, it turned out to be a decorative flag brushing up against the porch railing, and not Cletus the Hillbilly coming to get us. (But in mom's defense, it really did sound like someone walking through the leaves.) We passed the night without further scares- well, I think Paige was slightly terrified when we started singing the score of The Sound of Music, but who could blame her.

We didn't do much the next day. We spent a lazy morning drinking coffee and talking. We did have a hillbilly encounter in the form of a maintenance man- I don't know his name, but we called him Pappy. I'm pretty sure that given the chance, he would have taken Mama off to his hillbilly hideaway to make her his bride. But considering his diminutive stature, community theatre sweatshirt, and love of scented candles, we were fairly certain the four of us could take him if he tried. We spent a couple of hours bumming around the rather unimpressive town of Blue Ridge, but we were back by mid-afternoon and spent the rest of the day drinking (except for preggo Elizabeth) and watching movies.

We survived the storm of the century Saturday night without incident, and headed back towards civilization Sunday morning. We had a good time, and it was a much needed break from being the mommy. We definitely want to do it again, but no more mountains. Next time, we'd like to be a little closer to other human beings. It's just a little more relaxing when you're not worried about being killed in your sleep, ya' know??