Lately I've been pondering the mythical "twin bond"- whether it actually exists and if my boys have it. It's hard to say. I wouldn't say from watching them on a day to day basis that they have some deep, psychological connection. For the most part, they each kind of do their own thing. They have remarkably different temperaments. Will is an outgoing charmer. He's busy and into everything and usually has a smile on his face. Hays is quieter and more self contained. He's moodier than Will, but he can also entertain himself for remarkable periods of time. He'll spend 30 minutes running his Hotwheels up and down the window sill, during which time Will will have dismantled the kitchen, escaped out the back door and hot wired the car.
But just when I think they couldn't be more different, I notice odd connections. Pooping for one. I swear to God, 9 times out of 10 they poop within five minutes of each other. (I don't know if that's a psychological connection or weird coincidence. Probably TMI either way...) And when they're sitting on the couch together, they usually wind up sitting side by side, leaning on each other, even if they start at opposite ends. But while those things certainly don't prove the idea of a twin bond, there's no denying they're connected.
I rarely go anywhere with just one boy, but when I do, he's always looking for his brother. The other day I took Hays to the store with me and left Will and Mason home with Nana. Even though he was very excited about a trip to the store "jus' Haysie and Mama" he still asked "Where Will?" as I was buckling him into the car. As we were walking into the store, he was looking around calling, "Wiiiiiiiilllllll!" And as soon as we left he told me, "Go home see Will!" Now, I don't know if this is due to the fact that they're twins, or just a natural result of being together all the time, but they definitely don't like it when the other one is not around.
Twin bond or just plain old brother bond, it puts a long standing worry to rest. When they were born and then spent the next five months separated, I worried that untold damage was being done to their special twin relationship. I was afraid that they would never have the closeness that twins are supposed to share. But I don't worry about that any more. When I watch them work together to get into something they're not supposed to, I know that regardless of how different they are, they're still two peas in a pod!!
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3 comments:
Very interesting stuff and I really like how you're not jumping to conclusions! Being a twin myself, I can tell you that one day there will be that THING that happens and you'll know without a doubt: Something special is going on. Twins are close, I'm much closer to mine than our older sister. I think you're right about them spending so much time together and missing each other when they are separated - humans are certainly creatures of habit! I so enjoy reading your blogs, with light touches of humor - keep them coming!
Don't know about this one. My dad is an identical twin and they both claim that there is no twin bond between them. Despite that fact that they looked so much alike their own mom couldn't tell them apart until they were almost 20.
Girl, I have to second your observation. My boys have always acted like you have described Will and Hays--even down to the pooping within 5 min of each other! They were never separated like yours, but have always seemed to be doing separate things to entertain themselves, but somehow seem to come back to each other in their own kind of way. They also love getting to do things separately from each other, but are constantly wondering what the other one is doing while they are gone--don't know if this is b/c they are wondering if they are missing out on something fun or if they truely miss each other!! I am sad to say that most days they say they wish they were not twins, but I'm sure if they weren't they would miss the so-called "twin bond"!!
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