Thanksgiving Eve- A True Story

Twas' the day before Thanksgiving and all through the house, Mommy was rushing around like a crack-head mouse. There was lots to get done, and not much time to do it. Let's see if crazy mommy will manage to get through it.......

7:22: Wake up with a sense of anxiety over the long list of tasks that await me.

8:00: Feed kids, turn on tv babysitter- an hour of Madagascar (or Madagadagascar as Hays calls it) should buy me time to drag out and wash roasting pan and crystal bowls for turkey and cranberry sauce.

9:00: Manage a shower that's only interrupted by the twins once. Will needs to pee, Hays just "wants to watch mommy's shower." Ummm, no thanks.

9:45: I'm dressed and so are the kids. Aunt Bea arrives to help me take them to get haircuts. While buckling Hays into car, I notice that he has a brown speck on his neck- it turns out to be a flea. Great, add flea eradication to to-do list.

10:00: Haircuts ensue. It's only mildly horrible and we emerge 30 minutes later with good-looking haircuts. (Even mommy!!)

10:30: We brave the loony bin that is Publix. I wouldn't have attempted it if we weren't out of milk, and if I hadn't used up a block of cream cheese that I needed to make cheesecake in yesterday's wine/cream cheese/pepper jelly frenzy with my friend. It was a zoo, and I almost had to beat up a senior citizen that started crap with me in line about crowding her.

11:00: Get home and begin flea warfare. Spray everything upholstered with flea killer, then bathe the dog. While picking up fat, reluctant dog to drag her to the tub, hear an ominous crunch in my back. Think, "Hmmmm, this might be bad later."

11:30: Gather wet towels and clothes, add "load of laundry" and "clean sopping wet bathroom" to my to-do list. Realize that in my hurry to ward off an impending flea infestation, I have forgotten to put away milk, cream cheese, and creamer. Sigh...

11:45: Start pomegranate cranberry sauce. I'm feeling fancy because I'm using my Ipad in its snazzy case with a stand to display the recipe. Unfortunately, it also attracts Will's attention and he starts on on a 10-minute whine fest of "I want mommy's Ipad!" I start off nicely explaining that mommy is using her Ipad, wind up yelling, "No!! You can't have it right now no matter how much you whine! Now GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!!!!"

12:00: Finally unload dishwasher, toss soggy, wet-dog towels into the washer, feed kids, read them a story, put them down for a nap (with little to no hope that they'll actually sleep.) Take advil for my back that's already starting to twinge and throb.

1:00: Get Mason set up with paints and paper plates so he can make handprint turkeys to complete my set of handprint turkey napkin rings for tomorrow. Say a quick prayer of thanks for the convenience of Lean Cuisine as I toss one in the microwave.

1:20: Tell Will to stop singing and go to sleep

1:25: Go in again to get on to Will- this time threatening great bodily harm. Not expecting it to work, but maybe fear will buy me time.

1:55: What can only be described as joyous yelps are emanating from the twins' room. But I'm in the middle of making a pumpkin cheesecake, so they'll have to stay there. I figure I've got at least 20 minutes before screams erupt.

2:15: The joy turns to screams, but the cheesecake is safely in the oven, so I release Thing 1 and Thing 2.

2:30: After settling the twins with snacks, my Ipad, and Yo Gabba Gabba, I make a cup of chai tea to try to recharge, and get to work turning Mason's handprint turkeys into napkin rings.

3:05: Matt's home!!! Hallelujah, reinforcements have arrived!! Prepare to set out to procure wine, and temporary hem tape to temporarily hem the too-long pants I'm planning to wear tomorrow. Followed by a trip to my mom's to drop off the napkin rings and pick up the 20 pound thawed (oh please, please God, let it have thawed) turkey.

4:00: Back home with Scotch reusable adhesive strips that I think will fit my temporary hemming needs, a bottle of wine, and a STUPID, PIECE OF SHIT, STILL MOSTLY FROZEN turkey. Prepare a cooler out back to start thawing that S.O.B. in water- which will have to be changed EVERY 30 MINUTES!!! for the next 3-4 hours.

4:30: Start cleaning up the house and folding laundry while Matt and the boys watch a kung-fu movie. Matt does offer to vacuum since my back is hurting- when I'm half done and have already spent the last half hour on my hands and knees scrubbing the bathroom floor and bathtub. Thanks, honey!

5:20: Pour lovely glass of wine and order pizza. Screw cooking dinner.

6:00: Send Matt out to get pizza and to make the second trip of the day to Publix to pick up stuff I didn't realize we were out of on my first trip.

6:30: Feed, bathe, dress twins. Read, brush teeth, bed. Two down, 1 to go......

7:00: Mix cool whip with pumpkin pie spice and maple syrup. Planning to pipe it on top of the cheesecake that has a crack the size of the freakin' Grand Canyon. But the cake's not cool enough, so there's nothing to do but sit and wait....

7:45: Stupid turkey is finally thawed. Still sitting and waiting for the cheesecake to cool. Restless without something to do.

8:00: Watch The Middle. Seriously love that show, and according to several people, Frankie Heck is my mom alter-ego. Yeah, I can see it.

8:30: Cheesecake is finally cooled, but my piping idea doesn't work so well.. Eh, whatever. Spread the maple spice cool whip on top and sprinkle it with chopped pecans. It's not perfect, but it beats crater cake.

8:50: Send Mason to bed. Fuss at Mason to stop stalling. Tell Mason to stop crying- I'm not being mean, I'm just tired of the bedtime stalling every single night!

9:00: Watch Modern Family while drinking more wine. Oh, Modern Family, how I love thee.

9:30: Time to get the turkey ready. Dig the neck and bag o' giblets out (shudder). Season that bad boy, stuff him with onions and celery, tie him in a roasting bag and stick him in the fridge. See you tomorrow bright and early, buddy!

9:45: Clean every inch of the kitchen that may have come anywhere near turkey juice with antibacterial cleaner- can't be too careful!!

10:00: Done for the day. Sit on the couch for a while longer before heading to bed.

11:00: Set the alarm for 6 am, say a prayer to the turkey gods that mine turns out well, and turn out the light.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good night!!!

You've Come a Long Way, Babies

Today is Premature Birth Awareness Day. This is something we're all too familiar with. It's been a long time since we've looked back at the old days- the beginning of our amazing twin adventure, if you will. So if you'll indulge me for a moment, let's look back and think about what a premature birth really means. Let's remember what 9 weeks early and less than three pounds looks like....

Hays, born at 30 weeks, 2 lbs.

Will, born at 30 weeks, 2 lbs. 14 oz.

It's kind of shocking isn't it? They were so small and so frail, and we wondered how they would possibly survive. Will almost didn't. Every minute was touch and go in those first few days, and we couldn't even fathom the journey that lay ahead.

But survive they did. And they haven't just survived, they have thrived. I can't look back on those dark days and not be absolutely, positively, to-my-core amazed at how far they have come. And grateful. So very, very grateful to the bottom of my soul. 

We were lucky- beyond lucky, but not everyone is. And there are tiny babies like ours being born every single day. If you'd like to help prevent premature births, or help these tiny babies grow into wonderful, healthy children like mine, a donation to the March of Dimes is a great way to do it. If you're so inclined you can go to www.marchofdimes.com They do great things, and they would certainly appreciate your help. But if you can't help that way, that's okay. Just take a minute to offer prayers, blessings, good vibes- whatever you believe in- to the families that are loving babies born too early, that the babies will grow and thrive, and that their mommies and daddies will be blessed with faith, courage, and amazing friends and family to carry them through. 

You want a hippopotamus for Christmas? Tough.

Every year I get super-excited about the idea of Christmas shopping for my kids. In my mind, I can't wait to get out there and find the perfect toys that will make their eyes light up on Christmas morning. And then every year, as soon as I start looking, reality comes and crushes my retail dreams.

First of all, there are no "perfect toys." There are "kind of decent, I think they'll like this" toys, and there are "this looks fun- maybe they'll play with it for more than 5 minutes" toys. But there are no perfect "make Christmas morning live forever in their memories" toys. Basically, everything looks like one more variation on all the plastic junk that we already have cluttering up the playroom. And since they don't even play with that stuff, I have a really hard time dumping a bunch of cash on more of the same.

Which brings me to the second reality check- money. When did toys get so ridiculously, out-of-this-world expensive??? You can't by some junky playset whose cheap pieces will never work properly, and which will probably fall apart the minute your kid tries to play with it for less than $20. And God help you if you want to buy them something that might actually hold together and work the way it does on the commercial. Then you'd better be prepared to shell out no less than $50 for one little toy!! And if your budget is anything like mine, it's pretty much busted after one good toy and one piece of crap toy.

And two toys (one of them crappy) doesn't make for a very impressive Christmas haul does it? We all know that part of the joy of Christmas morning is the sheer volume of loot. It doesn't all have to be great, but boy, there'd better be a lot of it. And while we don't go completely crazy with it, we do like for each child to have a fairly substantial pile. So I wind up spending more than I want to, and buying junk toys that might get played with twice just to see big smiles and sparkling eyes on Christmas morning.

It happens every year. And every year I walk away from Christmas shopping discouraged and frustrated instead of filled with excitement and Christmas cheer. I'm hoping this year will be better. We've already gotten started, and I found some things for Mason that are going to rock his world. And since I literally had no idea what to do for the twins, I took them to Target yesterday and let them wander the toy aisles to choose things they want Santa to bring them. (Side note: that was actually pretty cute. At first they were all, "I want dis, I want dis!" And I kept telling them, "No, we're not buying anything today, but we can put it on your list for Santa." By the end of the trip, they had it down. "Mommy, put dat on my list- big gun. I want dat. Put dat on my list.") So I know what I want to get them and I know how much it costs. Maybe a little more preparation will make this year's shopping experience more gratifying than horrifying. We'll see.....

Fall Fun Photo Extravaganza

Holy cow, was last week busy. That's why I never got around to posting, even though I had lots to share. So here's the last week in pictures. The first few are from our pumpkin carving party last Sunday. It was great- friends, family, food and fun. All the best things in life! We carved pumpkin masterpieces, ate lots of food, and successfully roasted marshmallows without a single kid falling in the fire, or stabbing someone with a toasting fork!!

The next day was Halloween. I'm sure most families with three year olds had them adorably dressed. I saw lots of pictures of sweetly costumed preschoolers that made me say, "awwwwwww." I, however, had a zombie and a werewolf. Thanks, Thriller. I tried to embrace the theme and convince Mason to dress as Michael Jackson, but he wasn't having it. So my mom and I took a zombie, a werewolf and a ninja trick-or-treating, and whoa, baby was that an experience! It was the first time for the little guys, and they LOVED it. It took a while for them to get the hang of it. The first few houses, Will tried to go inside, and he blew out the candles in several people's jack-o-lanterns. But by the 5th or 6th house, he had it figured out and there was no stopping him. They didn't walk from house to house, they ran. So mom and I ran (up incredibly steep driveways) to keep up with them. I can say with absolute conviction that I earned every fun-size candy bar that I stole out of their bags.

And I was going to post all of those pictures last week, but I got too busy getting ready for the trip we took this weekend! We loaded up the minivan and took the boys up to the mountains. It was the perfect weekend. The weather was gorgeous, the leaves were ablaze with color, and we had an awesome cabin with a creek right outside. The only time we left the property was to take a quick trip to the apple orchard. The boys liked it, but they were in a hurry to get back to the cabin so they could throw leaves and rocks into the creek. We had planned to do a little hiking in the nearby state park, but we couldn't pry the boys away from the water. We could barely drag them out even when their wet feet were so cold they were at risk of hypothermia!

Matt's dad came up for a little while Saturday afternoon, so we were able to get a family picture (yay!!) and the boys got to show Budda the wonders of the woods. It was so nice to have nowhere to be and nothing that we had to do. Mason said it was "the best vacation ever!" And considering that it was also the cheapest vacation ever, I was glad to hear it. A definite success, and we're already talking about how we can't wait to go next year.



 And now we're barreling towards Thanksgiving at an astonishing speed, and I can't believe we're already in the second week of November. I hadn't fully adjusted to October yet!!! Soon the cash hemorrhage known as Christmas shopping begins. Are any of you friends with the money fairy? If so, could you ask her to swing by my house???