In Defense Of Crafty Moms

The mommy wars- stay at home vs. working, cooking from scratch vs. takeout, organic vs. enough artificial coloring to give your kid rainbow poop- are as old as time, and I really don't have anything new to add. But as Mother's Day approaches, there's a slew of articles about how we should be parenting, why we should ignore the books that tell us how to parent, and how it doesn't matter what we do because we're going to be crushed under a sea of mommy-guilt that makes us feel inadequate whichever way we go. I tend to ascribe the the latter theory. And if you can't win for losing either way, I figure every mommy has to do what works best for her. But within these articles that encourage moms to follow their hearts, do what makes their family happy, and not feel guilty if they don't follow all the rules, a theme has started to arise. The idea that crafty moms, make-it-from-scratch moms, "I have a craft room" moms are crazy, condescending bitches that just want to prove that they're better than you. Not true.

Well, okay, I'm sure it's true for some. But that's not the case for all, or even most of us. I'm a total crafty mommy. I love to make stuff. I love to cook and bake from scratch. I wish I had a craft room, but in my tiny house, I'm settling for a craft closet. But I do not, for one second, think that this makes me a better mother than anyone. In fact, most of the time I feel like 99.5% of women I know are much better mothers than me. And the remaining .5% are at least equal. I'm not cooking from scratch because I could never allow a preservative or red dye #40 to pass my little angels' lips. Please, my cabinets are stuffed with oreos and cheetos, and today I fed the twins frozen pizza for lunch for the second time in a week! I just like to cook. I like watching something start off as a pile of ingredients and become dinner. And when I make party decorations or valentines or birthday cakes, it's not because I think store-bought just won't do. It's because I like to make stuff.

I am a girl that has never had any real, discernible talent. I was passable at stuff, but I was never a standout. I never felt like I could do anything that I was particularly proud of. Then, as I got older and became a mother, I discovered talents that I never knew I had. I found that I liked to cook. I think it's fun and interesting, and much to my surprise, I'm pretty good at it. And then Martha Stewart started putting all her ideas out there with a smug, "Sure, go on, Just try to do this. I dare you" attitude. And I decided to show her that she's not so special. Sure, I may not be able to knit my own getting-out-of-jail poncho, but I can sure enough make some tissue paper flowers. You're not so special, Martha. I've got a glue gun and feathers. I can make a chicken costume every bit as good as yours, so ha!!

And once again, to my surprise, I found that I could do this stuff. I was even good at at least half of it. I mean sure, some attempts were big, fat disasters. But sometimes I turned out things that were really cute. And I was AMAZED  And when I put it on Facebook, it's not because I want you to feel inferior. It's just because, honestly, I'm proud of myself. I can't draw a stick figure, and at those drink and paint things, I can't turn out a decent-looking picture, even though the outline is stenciled on the canvas!!! But I can make things. I can see something cute, and make it, and that amazes me. And makes me proud.I don't have a job, and the only proof of my abilities are my children- and let's be honest, they provide a lot more "can you believe that honestly happened?" stories than bragging rights. So I'm posting my cute cupcakes on Facebook, by God!!!

So cut the crafty mommy some slack. Don't mock her for feeding her child homemade graham crackers. She probably just wanted to see if she could actually make crackers. And remember, I might bake from scratch, but you probably yell at your kids less. And in my book, that makes you a much better mom. No matter how many springtime garlands I make, I go to bed every night feeling I could have done a much better job with my kids, and hoping that they don't wind up in therapy due to bad mothering. At the end of the day, crafty or not, we're all just trying to keep our kids alive and make sure that they feel loved. And if we can keep our sanity and feel okay about ourselves at day's end, all the better.