Well, I just finished putting my three year olds to bed for the last time, and I'm about five seconds away from losing it. I'm talking ugly cry here, folks. My babies will be four years old tomorrow, and I don't think that I can stand it. I mean, seriously, four years old? That's not even a little bit of a baby anymore. That's frighteningly close to big kid territory. And I am NOT ready to not have babies anymore. Yeah, sometimes they make me so crazy that I want to tear my hair out, but these are my sweet, snuggly babies. They give leg-hugs, and climb into my lap for a cuddle, and giggle when I kiss them 6 million times in a row, and every day that they get older puts me one day closer to the time that those are nothing but sweet memories. And I simply cannot bear it.
And as if I wasn't already holding on by a thread, tonight at storytime, Will brought me a book that one of his nurses made for him when he was at Egleston. It has pictures of him as a tiny baby, and notes from all of us in it. I seriously think I deserve a medal for not breaking down right then. I could barely read past the lump in my throat. Don't get me wrong- I am sooooooo very glad to be past those days. I had to hug Will so tightly he could hardly breathe, just because I was so heart-crushingly grateful that he was by my side, ready to be bear-hugged. But oh man, do I miss those baby days. They were hectic, chaotic and tough. And sometimes I can only remember them by reading my old blog posts. But I don't know that I've ever seen more cuteness squeezed into a day.
And they still manage to squeeze in an awful lot of cuteness (amidst the fighting and yelling). But I'm afraid it's slipping away. I know they'll always be cute and sweet, but they won't always be little-kid cute. And I loooove little-kid cute. The past few days, as this birthday approaches, I've just wanted to stop the clock. Freeze my family just as it is right now. We're happy and blessed, I have all three of my babies in hugging reach, and they'll all still let me hug and kiss them, everyone we love is healthy and happy. I just want it to stay that way. Is there a pause button? Please?
While I'm crying, you can enjoy these pictures from their birthday party (click on it to make it full-size). We had it at a bouncy place with a few friends from school and our big, wonderful family. They had a ball and said it was the best birthday ever!
I can't let the twins' birthday overshadow Mason's awesome accomplishment- he won second place in show at the Pinewood Derby!!! I was so incredibly proud of him (especially because his car came in last every heat last year!) But this year he did well in his heats, and rocked it with his cool design. And he had his wonderful Grandaddy by his side, helping him with his car, and helping setup and run the derby. How lucky we are!!
2 comments:
I can relate!! I want another baby, maybe a girl this time:)))) clayton is 14 yes 14!!!! It's hard believe that he will be driving this year. Blah. Edward is 5 and independent as anything. My babies r almost gone. I understand where u r. I ask myself is this how r parents felt. This is a terrible feeling!!!! Cameron I don't know how to comfort u and tell u to not feel this way. But I can't hun. Love them and don't miss a moment. Love ya girl
come visit in may when we'll be up to our parental eyeballs with a 9 year old, 2 year old, and 1 month old:) we'll find something to fill your baby need! Kelly & Co in South GA
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