Watch Your Step

Today's tale from the parenting dark side is gross. So gross, in fact, that I feel the need to post a picture of them being cute first, so you can remember than they're not always disgusting, uncivilized cavemen. But this happens to be a story about them being disgusting, so if you're eating while reading this, you might want to head on over to another page. I suggest People magazine- did you hear that Tori Spelling is pregnant AGAIN???

Okay, for those of you who are brave/crazy enough to proceed despite my warning, here's how it all went down. Yesterday, Hays had been happily playing in the backyard, but he suddenly ran in crying. I didn't see any blood or visible evidence of tragedy, so I asked him what was wrong. I was not prepared for the answer. "I pooped in the yard, and now the flies are on it and they're scaring me!" Ummm, wait, what? You did what?? YOU DID WHAT?!!? I thought (hoped, prayed) that he meant dog poop. Surely he meant dog poop, right? There's plenty of that in the backyard.

But further investigation proved that he did not, in fact, mean dog poop. There, lying in the dirt by the swingset, was a decidedly human deposit. And pretty much every fly in the general area was inspecting this exciting new offering. (Hey, I warned you it was going to be gross.) I, of course, lost it. "Oh my GOD! Are you crazy? We don't poop in the yard! You never, ever, EVER poop in the yard. That is NOT okay!" But that didn't change the fact that there was a human turd lying in the dirt, and someone was going to have to deal with it.

And I've got to tell you, I had never really thought about the best way to deal with such a situation. I mean, really, what to you do with it? I decided to go the route of the responsible dog owner- double bag that crap (ha, crap, I'm punny) and toss it in the outdoor trashcan. But while I was fetching plastic bags, Will decided to get rid of those bad flies that were scaring his brother. I came out to find him hitting the poop with a plastic rake, yelling, "Go away, flies! Go Away!" Sigh......

I gotta tell you, this was just one of those gross parenting scenarios that I swear is limited to boys. I don't know a single friend with girls that has had to deal with yard poop. I'm sure there are some, but all the moms I know have lovely, civilized daughters. (Or they're just not admitting to it if they don't!) But I know for a fact that I'm not the only boy mom that has experienced this particular act of grossness. I just may be the only one shameless enough to share it with the world. Yeah, you're welcome....