March 7- Venting!

I'm starting to think that Will may go to kindergarten on the vent!!! Tomorrow was supposed to be extubation day, but now we're waiting some more. His doctor consulted a pediatric pulmonologist and her recommendation was to wait a while longer. So we're watching him and waiting. The doctor says maybe Monday, but who knows. I'm getting FRUSTRATED!!!!!!! I trust his doctor completely and I'm not doubting his decision. I know we need to wait for the right time, but I want that time to be now. I keep wondering how he'll know how much I love him if I can't hold him and show him how adored he is. It's hard to feel like a good mommy when you spend maybe ten minutes a day interacting with your child. The rational part of me knows that we're doing what we need to do, and that the baby doesn't feel unloved or neglected, but try telling that to the emotional side!!!
But I know that it's all going to be okay, and that before we know it those babies will be home and we can give them all the love and snuggles they can stand. I just want that time to get here soon!! Matt bought a little digital voice recorder today so we could talk to the boys and read them stories and their sweet nurses will play it for them. They both know mommy's voice and Will in particular responds really well to it. It's a way that I can kind of be with them when I'm not there. It will have to do until I figure out how to either clone myself or be in two places at once!