An ode to the biscuit gods

Friends, I am here to tell you about a miracle that occured in my kitchen this weekend. For you to truly appreciate the magnitude of this miraculous occurance, I must first make a confession. It is an embarrassing affront to my southern womanhood to admit this, but I cannot make biscuits. I have tried and tried, but they always come out gummy or rock hard. For years, creating the perfect southern biscuit has been beyond me.
I was discussing my inability to make good biscuits with my friend, Katie, a few years ago. Her husband, Stimey, presented his theory which just tickled me to bits and I have clung to ever since. Stimey said, "I think only a virtuous woman can make good biscuits." Virtue never having been one of my, well, virtues, I thought this made perfect sense.
Well, honey, sometime over the past year, I must have become a virtuous woman because yesterday I made the lightest, fluffiest, golden-brown, melt in your mouth biscuits!! I truly don't know how it happened. It was like I was guided by the hand of the kitchen gods. I mixed them together, amazed as right before my eyes perfect biscuit dough began to form. I held my breath as I put them in the oven and said a little prayer. And lo and behold, 15 minutes later I pulled the most gorgeous biscuits you ever laid eyes on out of the oven! They were good on their own, but they were even better when I smothered them with a lake of sausage gravy I made while they were baking!
My husband thinks I'm a good cook, but he doesn't usually compliment the food. It was music to my ears when he said, "Man, these are good!" And the twins gobbled one covered in butter and jelly so fast I could barely believe my eyes. So thank you o spirits of the kitchen for finally allowing me to earn my southern belle title!