April 21

Today has been rough. Zach's funeral was this morning and it was beautiful, but it was also the saddest thing I have ever experienced. My heart goes out to his amazing mama who gave the most beautiful tribute to her sweet boy. I don't know how she had the strength to do it, but I so admire her for that. This afternoon I just hit the wall and melted down completely. My babies are two months old and still in the hospital. We are facing such daunting challenges with Will. I had one of those moments when I just wondered how we would possibly get through this. I know we will, but sometimes I just get terrified.
The bright spot in this day was that Hays took (so far) five feedings in a row from his bottle. He's going down on his temperature settings in his isolette and will soon be ready to brave the open crib again. His nurse said she thinks he'll be home in a week to a week and a half. God, I hope so. Even though I know it will make things more complicated logistically, I'm not sure how much longer I can stand with no babies at home.
The main thing I took away from this difficult day is how precious life is. Hold your kids tight and take an extra minute to revel in the blessings that they are.