Crappy news

Well, unfortunately today has been pretty high on the crap-tacular scale. My mom and I went up to Egleston today, and before we could even get in the NICU the doctor stopped us (never a good sign). She told us that Will's airway shut down this morning. They had to push his ET tube way down in order to open his airway, and an x-ray showed that his trachea had pretty much collapsed where the vascular ring had been. Just what we feared- his airway is too floppy to stay open without major ventilator support. It's pretty likely that the only solution is a tracheostomy. That was the thing we were dreading most, but the poor little guy just can't keep that airway open. The ENT speacialists are going to do the bronchial scope tomorrow to determine exactly what's going on with his airway. They're going to consult the cardio-thorassic surgeon to look at other possible surgical options, but they don't really think those are going to be a good solution for Will. We were obviously pretty devastated by the news. We're not sure how long he'd have to have the trach, but most kids outgrow this by the time they're two. But still, two years is a long time. I was scared to death, wondering how will I take of this child and two others? I'm still not sure how I'll do it, but I know I will. (Don't really have much choice, do I!) They will teach me everything I need to know about caring for the trach at the hospital, and I have lots of family support here at home. I told my mom, "Well, after all this I better get an associates degree in nursing based on all the experience I'll have!"
It's been really tough to watch Will encounter one obstacle after another, and we really thought that we were on the road home. Now we're looking at another month or two at Egleston, which is going to be tough on everyone. The good thing about this is that Will is going to be so much more comfortable. He won't have to fight to breathe, and what a blessing that will be. His movement won't be restricted by his vent tubes, and I know that will make him happy. The most wonderful part is that I will finally be able to hold him!!! This has certainly been a test of our faith and strength, and so far, we've done okay. I know that you have all been praying for us, and we really appreciate that. Keep it up! Please pray for Will and for his doctors, that they will make the right decision. And pray that God will give Matt and me the strength, stamina and good humor that we need to get through this. And now I'm off to see Hays (who is still doing beautifully, thank goodness!)