May 12

I started learning how to do the whole trach care thing today. I'll tell you what, it was kind of a trial by fire. He had to have his trach tube changed to a different size, so I wasn't just learning how to clean it, I was also learning how to change it. It's not really difficult, but it's pretty intimidating. I'm really glad that we're going to have in-home nursing care when he comes home. He's going to require a lot of attention, more than I can handle with two other kids to look after. I know we can do what needs to be done, but I need to have another pair of eyes and hands to ensure Will's safety. But we'll have the help we need and we'll get through it. Will was great while we were cleaning him up and doing the trach change. He wasn't the least bit upset or agitated. In fact, he slept through most of it. What a good baby! He was wide awake when I first got there. And he never took his eyes off me the whole time I was holding him. He knows who mommy is, even though I can't be there every day. I'm sure it's just that he knows my voice from listening to the stories I recorded for him every day. But whatever. He knows his mommy and that's all that matters to me!
Hays was a cutie pie tonight. He was wide awake and in a great mood this evening. Mason and I spent a long time just talking to him and playing with him and he seemed really content and interested. I think some real smiles are not far away, and I can't wait!