May 7

The news for Will is not great. It's not horrible, but it's a long ways from good. we were hoping he'd be ready to come home in 3-4 weeks, but the doctors told us today it will be at least a month or two, and likely longer than that. He had some really bad breathing spells yesterday, and his airway is just not stable enough to send him home. The only way for his airway to become more stable is for him to get bigger. As he grows older, the cartilidge will strengthen and his airway will widen so it will be a lot less likely to flop closed. But he'll probably need to stay in the hospital until it does, and that will likely be a matter of months. It's so hard for us because we're so far away from him. It takes us three hours to get to the hospital in back, so by the time we go, spend an hour or two and come back, it's taken up the whole day. Now that Hays is home I just can't go as often as I could. I'm not sure how we'll get through several more months of this. I asked about the possibility of him going back to st. Mary's to grow, but they said we'll have to wait and see how he does over the next few weeks. We want him to come home, but not in his current state. If he stopped breathing at home like he did yesterday, we might not be able to resuscitate him, and we could never take a chance like that. We'll just have to suck it up and do what we have to do.
Hays is fine, but we're in the midst of another colic night. I had him settled after an hour of rocking, bouncing, etc, but then I tried to put him down, and now he's at it again. Lord help us, I am tired!!!!!!